You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
