Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
