dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
