Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
