but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
