his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You're like the curious george of whores
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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