Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we're making bets on your personal life
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Randomize
