I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
