lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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