Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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