her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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