hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
