Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize