we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
