Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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