There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
