It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
