Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
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Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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