You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
