and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
