addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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