Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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