My sheets look like a crime scene.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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