he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
