i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
