my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize