I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
