So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
