All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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