I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
