you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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