just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
