And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
