I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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