plz talk dirty to me
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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