So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
