He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
