plz talk dirty to me
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
