I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
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I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
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I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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