Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Soap is not a condiment
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize