is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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