I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
