just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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