What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
