I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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