Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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