Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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