I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
it hurts more in the daytime
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
