i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Let's paint friendship bongs
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
