Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
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