$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
