Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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