my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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