yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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