i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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