Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize