There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
