of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
