Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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