Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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