Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Where did you get a picture of my penis
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
