her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
