i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
