i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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